I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
