You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It's shark week go big or go home
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Are these your boobs on my camera?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
