You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
