ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
