i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
