he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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