The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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