just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Did I show you my penis last night?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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