You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
