Pants 0. Shit 1.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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