Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize