Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
