Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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