I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
