nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
