He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
