no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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