make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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