All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
