ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
