i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
