At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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