We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
