I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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