my mouth tastes like poor choices
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
