Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
