It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
