it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
