He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Damn victory sex feels great
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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