so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
