I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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