i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize