What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
