wrigley field is MILF paradise
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
