Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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