I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
