He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
