I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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