peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
