There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
