This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
