ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
