But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We got so high we made milksteak
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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