I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
