Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
