bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
