Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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