i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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