so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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