Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
