There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
