everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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