Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize