Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
