I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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