Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
