Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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