Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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