im about as happy as oj after his trial
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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