I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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