I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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