someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
