i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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