She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
