But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
